Life Lessons:

 What I learned in my 20's!

There is just something about those 20 something's! We get so excited about becoming of age; we forget about the process. Here comes 18 and then 21, and then life starts to really happen. We were in such a hurry to do grown up things, until things are not as fun anymore and not going our way. No one is ever really prepared for adulthood, until the struggles, obstacles, lessons that we face starts to get real. That's apart of life, we figure it out along the way and keep moving forward. I would never wish I knew certain things sooner! For I am a student learning from the worlds most challenging teacher, Life. Learning from our mistakes is how we grow and then we make the adjustments from there. Now that I am officially 30, I can say your 20's are definitely your learning moments. Appreciate them! Here are a few life lessons I learned in my 20's.

1. Everyone learns the hard way.

There is no getting around this theory. I cant stress it enough, how many times I bumped my head; forcing things in life to be, that simply just were not meant to be. As I journed through my 20's, I was finally able to place acceptance towards the phrase, "You have to crawl before you walk". Had I not mastered crawling in my 20's, I would have never learned to stand, use my two feet and walk into my destiny! Some of the most wise and valuable advice comes from those who come before us; our parents, elders, mentors etc... Don't be too quick to shun the advice away. Yes you will make mistakes, but God gives us second chances to get it right.

2. You don't have to have all the answers to life right now.

I thought I needed to have life figured out in my 20's. I needed to know my purpose, career goals, have a nice car, apartment, material things; Hey, I even thought I should be married before 30 or so I thought. Little did I know I didn't know anything! I didn't have definite answers until my late 20's. That goes to show life pulls us in many directions; but in the end there is ultimately one way to go, Forward. God called you to carry out many particular task in life for a reason, just for you. Even if you don't have all the answers right away, be willing to be lead and learn as you go.  

3. You have to be Humble.

There is no way I could got this far in life without humbling myself before God, my experiences and aspects of life. There is so much more to life besides yourself that you should be fighting for. Don't forget to be patient, selfless, teachable and most of all grateful for all things and people that cross your path.   

4. Make yourself a Priority.

Always be willing to help others but don't forget to do the same for yourself. Be good to yourself, your mind body and soul! There is no better reward, than giving yourself what you need to help yourself prosper in life. As you start to put yourself first, you can be and do many things for others! You cannot give to others what you don't first give to yourself! 

5. Don't expect more than one can give.

There are people in your life, that you expect more from because you think highly of them; and that's a good thing, but don't expect too much where it consumes your energy. Sometimes people can deliver and sometimes they cannot. When that is the case, you are either left satisfied or disappointed. In reality, you are simply expecting too much from someone, than they could give. Also, what you need from certain people, they either don't have it to give or don't want to. Treat your expectations in people accordingly so no one gets hurt. When the tables are turned, only do what you can and don't feel bad about it.

6. Stay true to yourself.

A wise man once said, "Do the things that make you, you". Having that mentality helped me to stay true to myself. Who I am, my strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes and everything in-between. Those are the things that makes me, me. Everyone has certain qualities that set them aside from others. Stand firm on those qualities and embrace yourself for who you are!

7. Trusting the process.

The process is the good, bad and ugly! Its just simply the matter of letting go and trusting it. There are so many things in life beyond our control, and some things within our control as well. Everything happens for a reason! Do not focus on what you cannot fix, focus on what you can. Its your world, start creating what you want for yourself.

-Kishari

No Work, No Play, I'm taking a Mental Health Day

                                    

No Work, No Play, I'm taking a Mental Health Day!

Have you ever walked into work and was simply just not feeling it? Work has been overwhelming and your personal life has been stressful; or maybe you are just winging it through life right now. You just can not seem to prioritize effectively. No, not Okay! I know that feeling all too well. There are not enough jobs that stress the importance of good mental health practices. Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands; by declaring A Mental Health Day for yourself. That's Right, take the day off! You do not need a reason to take care of yourself, just a reminder that it needs to be done. 

Here are a few things you can do to make that happen. Catch up on a good book,go see a movie,Inspirational literature or blog, podcast, write/journal, personal errands, paint, take a walk, exercise, take up a hobby, try a new restaurant solo, go to a concert, stop by a coffee shop; use this time to connect with God etc...Do the things that you enjoy doing. Make this day all about you. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself right, for you; because at the end of the day it's your life and your mental health. 

You are entitled to take care of your health beyond a physical standpoint. There is a need for Mental, spiritual and emotional well being as well. Jim Elliott once said, "wherever you are, be all there." Meaning wherever you're in that moment in time, give it your all. Giving 100% in everything you do or dont do it at all;whether it's a job, education, helping others and most importantly caring for yourself. If that means taking the day off to cater to your personal needs;so that you are able to give your full potential then so be it. You cannot give to others,what you cannot give to yourself. You just dont have it to give but maybe tomorrow you will.

Self-care is one of the most underrated practices, people often forget to engage in. Get in the habit of implementing self-care practices into your daily routine. Be good to yourself, your mind,body& soul; and it will be good to you.
-Kishari 

Quote of the Day!
"Remember, you are in control of how you show up in the world."- Alex Elle 

Showing up for Purpose

Showing up for Purpose

Who is showing up for Purpose? Your purpose! In life I believe there to be more than one purpose to be fulfilled, by one person. We ask ourselves "what is purpose? what does it mean to me? How can I apply it to my life for the betterment of self and others? 
T.d Jakes once said, "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies those he calls". That's right, we are all called to carry out a divine purpose in life and be used in ways bigger than we could have ever imagined. Whether we choose that particular person and or path in life or not. Purpose chose you and as we go through life, we unconsciously choose it.  

Change is inevitable, just as purpose. We make plans for out lives and believe that is the ultimate way things should go .That may be true for a while, until it is time to move on to another purpose. I also understand some people are set on one purpose and do not like much to change. As humans we are reluctant about change; but i assure you  it was set up to keep moving forward. You will know when you know! When you have a purpose on your hands,when you have fulfilled that purpose, when you are no longer needed: and when its time to move on to the next. God called you for a reason to step into that purpose. I do not know why, he just did! Whatever the case may be for you, one thing for sure and two things for certain; its for a reason. Even when  you think you are not ready for what is about to happen in your life, take that risk and you will figure it out. 

With that being said, the next time you are unsure about your position in that persons life, helping others, job, career, on that particular path etc... Think about what position you are playing in that moment in time. Are you showing up for it? Are you doing all you can to give it meaning? Has it expanded your perspective? Are you staying true to yourself in the process? My friend, that is what you call a Purpose. Make sure you show up for it and watch it show right back up for you. 

-Kishari 

Quote of the Day!

"In a world full of many people, we all have something amazing to offer one another".

Let's Talk about it!

Mental Health:

And why no one is talking about it!

We all have stuff that we don't talk about, but that does not mean its not still there. Let's not pretend that sometimes maybe even lately, our mental health is not an issue. I would know, I have experienced anxiety for myself, in different aspects of my life. As I have gotten older and wiser, I am more aware of my conscious and unconscious mind; and learning how to deal with the state of my mental health.

Mental health has been an ongoing national issue for a considerable amount of time, affecting people all over the world; regardless of race, ethnicity, sex, age group, culture etc... More importantly, some of us are so consumed into work, family, personal obligations etc... we don't always recognize the signs when we are the victims of mental health. 

Some of the signs include the following:

• Sleeping problems (Too much or too little)
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Fear
• Mood Changes (sadness, irritability, anger, headaches, inability to perform daily task) and many more (Mentalhealth.gov) 

Also, according to Mental Health of America,  more than 40 million Americans, have a mental health condition. Let's not wait until its too late to deal with our mental health. Think about all the good that could come out of good mental health practices; and taking action toward your mental ability to process things in a healthier way. Everyone has mental health, in which we all choose to deal with it differently. With that being said, Mental Health may stem from personal issues, the workplace, school and the most frightening of them all; the things we have absolutely no control over. The very person suffering from such a mental breakdown,is the one that is in such denial; or believes no one understands what he/she is experiencing.

No wonder why no one is really talking about it! So many people are walking around at work, in the school system, the community, in the household, and venting on social media with so much mental baggage; and deep down are struggling mentally, physically and emotionally to stay on track. Even worse the road of destruction; causing yourself harm or others.

Pursuing this further, i am no expert on this topic and only speaking from experience. From me to you, get it out! By acknowledging something has not been right up there for a long time, is one of the first steps towards dealing with your mental health. Dealing with the facts is key!Never feel embarrassed about the known, instead look forward to the unknown. 

If you need to get out that pint up energy, talk to someone. To God, a friend and or family member, mentor etc... and if you're unsure of talking about your personal business to others, write it out. Journaling has always been a reliable outlet for releasing toxic thoughts. Other things you can do are, read up on some inspirational blogs;) books, quotes, take yourself out on a date, take a personal day at work #MentalHealthDay lol, pick up a hobby or few, try to stay positive and get your mind right! My point is, you're not alone in this fight. Find a way to express yourself and communicate, without feeling too proud about what you're going through. We can all use a little help building ourselves up, after we have been fighting mentally to remain resilient.

-Kishari

Quote of the Day

"With power you create a permanent change, with force it is only temporary." -Iyanla Vanzant 

Are you Doing what you Love?

Are people still doing what they love anymore? That's a question i pose to myself sometimes. I have witnessed many people settling In careers, relationships, life decisions, personal journeys; in ways that has and will definitely effect their life. Life can become hard to manage at times, considering the lack of motivation, confidence and unemployment rates circulating in the world; making it hard for some people to continue to believe in something. In doing so, even putting some in the position to second guess themselves.

Pursuing something that's for you is not an easy journey. Some of us don't get it right the first time around, and so we say "we still have tomorrow" putting what we really want on the back burner. For instance, coming from experience there was a time in my life where i came to terms, that i wasn't doing what i loved; I was simply playing it safe. What was normal for most but very disturbing when you look at the big picture. What do i mean by that? I had a career in mind that i was pursuing, that was in high demand, job security, the ideal job. Something wasn't right! I could never stick with it consistently. It was almost as if i was trying to convince myself on it. I liked it but i didn't love it! Yes, of course over time you may think you can grow to love something, and that may be true in different aspects of your life; but truth is who are you really trying to convince, your mind or your heart.

There are some people out there in the world, who are content with where they are in life, confused about their path; hate their job or just in it for the wrong reasons etc... Then you have others who know what they want, love what they do and conquer through the ruff patches. I can't stress enough, the importance of having security in your life. Most people are always looking for a way out; which is a great thing but its also important to remember why you are doing something. Be the kind of person, who still wants to pursue what they love, that one thing that makes them feel free; without placing so much emphasis on the consequence, obstacles, hardships etc... If the passion is not there from the beginning, the heart will never follow it to greater things. liking something short-term  is never a good enough reason for doing something long-term; but loving it is a great reason to pursue it, see it through until its purpose is fulfilled.

The real question is, where do i start? Something as simple as writing it down. Putting all your thoughts, ideas, vision on paper and going from there. When you have good intentions and in the right mindset, all things work together for good.We must learn how to rebuild trust in ourselves and our ideas, because at the end of the day our instincts are all we have. Where there is purpose and passion, success will follow! Happiness comes from within you and in doing the things you love. In the meantime, continue to do what you love for as long as you can; God has a way with placing purpose where it belongs. 

-Kishari

Quote of the day!
We lose ourselves in things we love. We find ourselves there, too. -Kristin martz

A Good Thing

 

 

A Good Thing

 

 

As we go through life, we sometime come across great opportunities, amazing people, positive energy. On the other hand, you have the not so great opportunities, toxic people, and negative vibes heading in your direction. Truth is, we are always looking for that one thing? Whatever that is for you, setting out to find better and putting ourselves in the position to grow and excel above all our expectations. They say a good thing is hard to come by. Most of the time we know a good thing when we see it. That opportunity, person and positivity; but do we really challenge ourselves enough to know a good thing when we see it? Do we really stand behind a good thing theory wholeheartedly?

 

 

There are always good things out in the world that surrounds us and we are constantly reminded everyday of its existence. Especially of the beauty in all things good. We see the good in people, places and things and sometimes even see it in ourselves. Our first priority should always be to see the good in ourselves first, and also willing to see the good in others. I have personally been blessed with the ability to see the good in people and circumstances; in doing so, seeing the good in myself despite my faults. No, the process does not happen overnight and yes everyday is still a test from God. I sometimes have to question how I am even passing Gods test lol or why I'm still stuck on the same lesson. Somethings cannot be explained but I know I don't need to know all the answers right now. There is always a process to get to the good things. It takes patience, willingness, courage and much more; to be able to see the good in a new way.

 

 

When you find something good in this world, hold on to it for as long as you can. Everyday we make a choice on how we chose to see people , circumstances, obstacles etc... We don't always get to choose a good thing when we see it, those things takes time; But one day you'll choose right!

 

-Kishari

 

Quote of the Day!

"Sometimes a little change is a good thing." -Unknown

 

 

 



No One Teaches us how to Grieve

No One Teaches us how to Grieve:

The Grieving Process

We grieve! We grieve for ourselves, for our loved ones. No one really teaches us how to grieve. Everyone has a story behind every grieving process. Oh boy do we struggle, do we cry, do we linger and harbor, do we regret, do we laugh, do we not understand, are we weak, do we remember, do we hold memories, not like to accept it, do we feel, do we try to talk with them, do we miss our loved ones. I can go on for days on the daily struggles regarding the grieving process. For each and every individual the process will always be different; and until one experience that heartache firsthand, you wont truly understand the feeling one speaks of.

When people try to say they understand your pain, feelings, thoughts, soul; they have no idea. I think they have an ideal of what it might feel like; either from past experiences or trying to mentally interpret the feelings of others. Either way, none of us really knows what that is and how that feels for that person; but that person. We can rave about how we understand but we know nothing. What do I know? Nothing either! I was once that person who thought I could relate to what others were feeling. Saying what you should do to get through it, and not really understanding why people grieve for so long. Until one day i found myself on the other side in their shoes; and realized that was so not true. No one could tell me anything about my pain, feelings, thoughts, soul etc... My spirits were past its lowest point. Its an experience we all must face one day. We ask ourselves, what else do we have to go off of? Hoping that we can see that loved one again, talk with them, laugh with them, we'll take anything! From the time when life made sense, with them still with us.

One thing for sure and two things for certain, if God says we trust it, we trust it! He gives us time, strength and comfort to grieve. There is not a day that goes by, that i dont think of my loved ones that are no longer with me. Grieving on my own terms and trying to move forward at the same time. When we get close to people and form a connection and relationship with them, from that moment on the heart holds a special place specifically for that person. How do we really cope with something like this? A friend once said, "eventually, the time will pass."- Courtnie   I ask myself what does that even really mean for me? until the time actually started to pass and the healing process starting feeling a little bit better.

Even though we may feel sad, heart broken, lost etc... We are still able to move forward and continue on with our lives. We still have one of those days, moments where it still hits and hurt us; but we make do and we'll be okay. We still have that loved one sealed  in our hearts for life. Remembering their ways, how they made us feel, the memories, good times, the joy they bring, their smile, personality, physical presense. We remember them in all ways! Its amazes me how the things we remember, are the very things that help us get through the process. Life is short, communicate,forgive,love and grow with eachother.

-By Kishari Lomax

Qoute of the Day 

"When it comes to grief, the best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes, and let it go when we can." -Grey's Anatomy